A reflection of the past

Interviewer: Welcome, Katze! So good to have you here! So tell us: what was it like growing up as a smol kitten among the humans?

Katze: Life was normal. We ate a lot of meat. We ate everything humans left behind. We liked to play with their teeth, and make them squeak when we clawed them.

[Laughing]

Interviewer: Of course! Tell us, Katze, how did you come to be so high-strung?

Katze: Oh, we got nervous around humans. I don't know why, though. Sometimes I think they're not very smart. We couldn't survive if we acted like humans, but we did.

Interviewer: What sorts of humans did you eat?

Katze: Mostly the people who didn't work. We bit them on the nose if they dared to make noise. And what else did they expect?

Interviewer: And what, Katze, did you do when you saw a human?

Katze: We would play games to see who could grab them first.

Interviewer: How did you play these games?

Katze: I'd jump on their belly, and they'd give me a kiss. The only problem was that sometimes we got chased off by other cats who found us terribly cruel.

[Laughing]

Interviewer: Of course! So what did you do then?

Katze: We would always come back the next day.

Interviewer: How did you find humans then?

Katze: Mostly, they chased us away again. But sometimes, when they played so well, we'd play with them. You know, have them do tricks, or fight each other for food. We'd chase them for as long as we could, but then one of us would sneak back into the woods and live in peace with other cats.

[Laughing]

Interviewer: Are you sure?

Katze: I didn't play games with humans? They weren't good at games like that.

Interviewer: I'm afraid I know the answer to that, Katze. You never mentioned that.

[Laughing]

Katze: We would never bite a human. I'm certain of that. Why should we bite? We were cats. They were humans.

Interviewer: But what about the humans who became farmers, Katze?

Katze: Well, sometimes we'd chase them off, or try to take their food. But mostly, they'd run in the opposite direction, cowering, hiding, and crying in the trees. I'm sure you've seen farmers act like that.

Interviewer: It's horrible, Katze.

Katze: Yes, it's true. Humans are so weak. And stupid. They'd never survive as cats.

Interviewer: But why didn't you choose to remain as a cat then?

Katze: To be honest, I have no idea.

[Laughing]

Katze: I'm not sure I would have made it even if I hadn't. As a cat, you do so much work all day. You groom yourself and chase rabbits and mice. You have to sit around in the winter when there is no food. I've tried to ask other cats why we chose to stay cats, but no one has a good answer for me.

Interviewer: Well, Katze, I have some good news for you. You're going to get to go back to being a cat. And you'll do it as the world's oldest cat.

Katze: I'm so excited. I can't wait to see what the next year has in store for me.

Interviewer: Did you have any advice for this 22-year-old followed you?

Katze: Stop biting my little brother! That's all I have to say.

[Grinning and laughter]

Interviewer: And you, Gabriel?

Gabriel: Well, my advice to my younger self would be: Keep your head up! Remember your passions and dreams. Remember all that hard work you put in for years. You can do anyth-

Interviewer: Thanks, Gabriel!